Library Fees

A screenshot from the episode

Library Fees is the first episode of the Zombie George Washington series. It is about Zombie George Washington returning some late library books, and has to pay a fee. So he eats the librarian's bwains.


(title screen)

Librarian: Can I help you?

Zombie George Washington: RAAAHHH! I have library books to return!

Librarian: And your name?

Zombie George Washington: Zombie George Washington!

Librarian: Yeah, okay, I'm afraid there's gonna be a late fee on these.

Zombie George Washington: Zombie George Washington HATES LATE FEES!!! (the screen zooms in) How much is it?

Librarian: Well, it says here these books were due back on November 2nd, 1789. So, let's see. (typing noises) The fee's add up to $4,577.

Zombie George Washington: What? Zombie George Washington don't have that kind of money.

Librarian: But, adjusted for inflation, it looks like you owe us a little over, oh, $300,000.

Zombie George Washington: Ooh. (farts)

Librarian: Sir, are you alright?

Zombie George Washington: Zombie George Washington just shit his pants.

Librarian: Look, how would you like to pay for this, sir? Cash or charge?

Zombie George Washington: Um, Zombie George Washington wants to know if you take BRAINS as payment?

Librarian: No, sir. I'm sorry. We don't take brains.

Zombie George Washington: That's too bad, because I DO!

(Zombie George Washington eats the librarian's brain)

Librarian: (screaming)

Zombie George Washington: (munching sounds) See you next time, kids.